Stylin’, Profilin’

Tissue, or fabric as we call it in the west, is a really big deal here. A veritable rainbow of color and design, it’s rare to see two people wearing the same pattern in the same style.

Two particular tissue wrinkles to mention here:

a) You can get all sorts of stuff printed on tissue, including animals, consumer goods or cultural items printed on your tissue ranging from keys to forks to birds and fish. Word on the street is there is an iPod tissue and I’ve seen one pattern with energy saver light bulbs on it (the coiled ones). Steve’s Papa has some with a container holding a whisk, spoon, ladle, spatula and carving fork in it. Even saw one with American footballs on it, but I doubt the woman wearing it had any clue what they were. The options are limitless, and from what we can discern it has something to do with displaying your ownership of something or, at least, giving the impression of ownership.

b) Families all walk around in matching outfits, especially on Sunday with churchin’ on the agenda (MUCH more on the churchin’ to come).

So with that said, before the August 1 Independence Day celebration some tissue was bought. Azove, where Steve lives, is one of the country’s best tissue markets. With the assistance of Sylvie, Romeo and Julius, he purchased a “piece,” roughly 12 sq. meters from which he and Jaren could have outfits made. Each outfit uses roughly 4 sq. meters, so there will be enough left over for sheets, towels, baby carriers or one of the millions of other things “pagnes” (2 square meter pieces) are used for.

Much like the creation of a family tartan among the Scots, this lovely number will be the first mark of the Schwartz family here on the African continent. Without further ado…


The pattern was chosen for both the color and design, particularly attractive because of the Siamese tree thing it had going on. Steve was able to sport his “Boumba” (large pullover shirt and drawstring pants) at the parade, but it was only then he made two shocking discoveries:

- It’s Seattle Seahawks colors
- The trees actually look like bowtie pasta

So there you go, the recently created Schwartz family’s first indelible impression on the African continent could is not unlike what one would imagine seeing if Shaun Alexander threw up pasta salad all over himself on gameday. C’est la vie.

In defense, Jaren does like it, although she’s not had time to have a matching outfit made (although she should in the next week) as she’s spent the last couple weekends in Azove. She does very much like the pattern though and thinks it will make a pretty addition to her wardrobe.

PS – If you don’t think you’re seeing pictures of the full Tichy and Schwartz families in matching outfits in the next three years, you are sorely mistaken my friend.